As some of you know, my great friend Jaman passed away this weekend. Very unexpected and very sad. I have done a lot of thinking in the last 2 days and have tried to understand this loss. Losing Jaman has been a lot different in my head than when Grandpa Kawa passed away in December. Gpa was expected and more or less a glorious time as he now has the opportunity to get to a better place and see his wife again.
With Jaman's passing it has been a bit more confusing. In talking to another friend, it's hard to know what to think at this point. We just want it to be a big joke. I think the initial shock has worn off, but it's still a bit confusing. Honestly I don't know how to react. Should I be happy that he's in a better place, should I be sad and crying. I seriously don't know. It should probably be a mix of all sorts of emotions.
I've known him for about 16 years now and have thought the world of him. There was a lot of demons in Jaman's life that he struggled through. Some he conquered, others he still has to work through. Yes there were some choices that probably weren't the wisest and most logical, but he tried and was always a good friend. There were some very trying times for all involved in his life, but we never stopped loving this kid.
The last time I saw J was on 5/21 a Friday enjoying some sushi at Mikado with some friends. I did have the great privilege to sit next to him and just be with him. I do know that as he left, I told that I love him. So thankful for that. I'm just glad that the last words that came out of my mouth were words I rarely say, more on this later.
Yesterday at church, I thought a lot about J and his family. If any of you met Jaman or anyone in his family, you know what I am talkinga bout when they are great people. Not a better family than the Davies. I pray that they are doing well and hope Jaman is happy and that God is taking care of him. Jaman, I love you and miss you man.
Regarding my title of this post. "Does everyone really know?" I hope all that consider me their friend and family know that I love them. You'll rarely hear me say those three words, but behind my tough rugged exterior, I do have emotions and I know what love is. I know I joke a lot that I don't and that I had my tear ducts removed, but know that I do care for you and have an emotional bond with you.
In my pondering it keeps coming back to me that God a has a specific plan for all of us. Only he knows how, when and where we'll be when he needs us for our next mission in life. Please know that if you are reading this, you have touched my life somehow whether it's directly or indirectly through my family. I appreciate all that you do for me and my family. I couldn't ask for better family and friends.
Amy when you read this, please know that I love you so much. I'm sorry for any of the dumb things that I do (especially last week). Give the boys a hug, tell them I love them too. I'll see you at 4:30! Mmm fish tacos.
14 years ago
9 comments:
Cam that was a beautiful post. Thank you.
I too have been thinking of J so much since I found out yesterday. I've known him my whole life, we even went to preschool together and our families went on vacation together a few times when we were growing up. because I moved away in 9th grade and only came back for 11th I was not close to J like when we were younger. Even though we didn't stay in touch (except facebook... you gotta love FB for that reason alone!) I often thought of him and worried for him and hoped things were going well. I think this was a beautiful post and I am so sorry that you lost your dear friend. He will be missed so much. He was blessed with an amazing family and wonderful friends like you. I imagine I will see you this week at the funeral and I look forward to that. :)
I am sorry for your loss Cam. I appreciated your comments in Sunday School yesterday and could feel a bit of how hard this is for you and Amy. We love you guys and feel so blessed to have you in our lives.
cam thanks for that post. these are the trials that our little community has been given. what you said is what really matters-loving relationships-that is what will last.
Cam - How sorry we are for your loss! You and your family have been on our minds a lot lately. Please know that we appreciate your friendship so much and that we are praying for you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Just know that we are here and although you don't know our family very well......yet.....we are always here if you need us! That was one of the sweetest and most thoughtful posts I've ever seen and I appreciate it because it makes me think more about my friends and family and how I should tell them how much I care more often.
Thanks man!
cam, love the post! we sure think a lot of you, amy and the boys. sorry to hear about your friend. hope you're able to feel comfort and peace during this difficult time.
Cameron, so sorry about your friend. Any loss, whether expected or not is always hard to deal with. Isn't it great to know what we do know concerning eternal life. I pray that you can somehow find peace in this very difficult time.
I am so sorry for your loss and wish you the best at this time. Amy we need to chat, we need to get together before I move. I feel so bad that we never see each other with us living 2 hours away and I know it will most likely never happen when we are in Arizona. So basically I want to see your face soon. I miss you.
Sorry Kato. Lynda just called Nate and said it was from swine flu? That really stinks. I know Nate's bummed about it. :( Sorry guys.
Post a Comment